Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Four Months since Sean left

It will be four months since Sean left us this coming Friday and it still honestly hasn't sunk in for me. There are many times when I have been shopping and see something that I know Sean would like and get ready to pick it up and have to stop myself. A few weeks back I was shopping and saw Red Wings shirts on sale. I not only went through the rack to find a size Sean could wear but stood in the line for over twenty minutes to buy it. Only to walk out of the store with two shirts (one for me) and realize I had no one to wear the extra one I had bought. I see people sometimes that remind me of Sean and I have to say to myself that it is not him. I still get excited at the thought of seeing him or spending time with him. I still get excited when I know I am going to get to do something we'd enjoy like a movie or something but then realize I will be going alone. Sean was more to me then just my mate he was my bestfriend. I now know there is and probably never will be anyone else like him in my life. I trusted him with everything and I told him everything as he did me. I recalled reading another womans blog about cancer when Sean was first diagnosed. I was looking for answers and some words of comfort and hope maybe. Her husband had just passed away from cancer and I read her blog and cried for what felt like hours. All I kept saying was please god don't let this happen to us....I feel sorry for people who never really took the time to truely get to know Sean and there were a few. I feel sorry for people he had known all of his life who never treated him the way that he should have been. I feel sorry for people who now after he is gone have used him and situations concerning him to hurt other people. Sean would not of ever wanted that...but Sean also already knew how these certain people were and it really would not of suprised him. I think anyone who had the chance to be in his life was blessed because he was a really beautiful person and there will never be another him. I do miss him. I hope where he is that he will always know that I love him and he will always be in my heart.

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